High-level sales interview (Ticonderoga #2) aka “The #2 Pencil”

Some do it across the table. I like to imagine it standing up.

Interviewer hands me a pencil and says, ‘Sell me this pencil.”

I respond, “it is a piece of wood, painted yellow. It has a pinkish red eraser tip. The other end goes into a wood chipper and sharpens a piece of graphite that can be used to write words or letters or even draw or sketch a picture.

And it just happens to be the exact type and style of pencil that you need to have if you are taking one of those tests that require you to fill in the correct answer by using a pencil to darken the right bubble.”

“What is the name of your pencil,” he asked?

“Ticonderoga #2,” I replied.

The one with a certain shade of grey

Another, much weaker, salesman actually said out loud, “I would buy that pencil.”

Group interviews. Have you ever done a group interview?

Love watching them smile collectively while figuring out how to not shit in their pants.

I have put all of you in a cage together and now it is gladiator time as I watch you fight to the death.

Little miss ‘wore just a slightly too dark shade of red of lipstick to the interview’ starts talking about her lipstick as it pertains to the color at the end of my pencil.

This skinny little pale-faced bushy haired jerk off in the wrong color blue suit - I don’t even know what color it is. Is that even a suit? 

Now, I am looking at one of these things and I am not sure if it is a him or a her.

So far, a lackluster cast for the Hunger Games.

Then, I see this woman in the back corner wearing these yoga pants and I am going to make her my Swamy.

I looked at her from the head of the room and it was almost as if she was not even paying attention.

She looked up because I stopped talking.

As she slowly made eye contact with me, I said, “Come up to the front of the class and tell us about Yoga.”

There is a heavy price to pay right now for ‘free thinking’ - and that being that it is free.

Yoga pants told the class about proper nutrition and she even bended over a couple of times.

I am looking at the pool of interviewees and I am paying close attention to the looks on their faces as this beautiful Arab woman is doing Yoga in front of me during a group interview.

Some have the look of disgust on their faces because they thought they were here to sell pencils. 

And now I am watching all of them write their resumes as their faces turn from shock to lust and from disgust to and through every deviation to and through the discussion of a Ticonderoga #2 Pencil.

Random thoughts by a random jackass - Michael R. Cronin

12/24/2025 - 4:27A EST

Now, you are here…

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